A wonderful Day 2 to our study as we continue to add people from all over. Again, over 200 hits yesterday meaning that a lot of people are participating, even though not everyone is sharing. I totally understand that apprehension to share with a group that you're not familiar with. If it's better for you to remain annonymous when you share, go ahead and do that. Again, this study works best when we all share what each chapter means to us and our interpretation of it.
Point to Ponder: What drives your life?
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
If you asked your family and friends to describe what drives your life, what driving force or motivations would they mention?
Why do you think most people are not driven and guided by the purpose of their lives?
What habits, or hurts, or hang-ups, or fears might keep you from beginning to live out and enjoy God’s purpose for your life?
My response:
The third chapter is so rich that I could spend term paper analyzing it and still can't get everything in it. I hope people got different things from it because there's just so much. It crystallized a lot of things for me.
It starts out talking about what drives us, what motivates our lives. I had always been driven by approval from others. Particularly from parents and figures of authority. I wasn't so much influenced by peer pressure, but the drive to gain the approval of elders in my world. When the book says that one sure way to failure is trying to please everyone, it hit home. I can't be all things to all people. I was a people pleaser. And to a certain extent, I still am. But I know that my happiness isn't dependent on it anymore. I do what I feel is right, and if people disagree, I am able to live with their disapproval.
That has enabled me to narrow my focus. Knowing that I was made for a purpose, which is to be used for God's purpose, has given my life meaning. It means that everything that happens to me is not an accident. It has really simplified my life. I used to have a plan for my life. And now I have a plan for eternity. What I mean by that was my goals had always ended at death. Now, they go beyond it.
Things that used to bother me a lot, failure, loss or pain, now are looked upon as growing opportunities to fulfill my purpose. It's made me not sweat the small stuff, if I keep the big stuff in perspective. Instead of running around trying to check off everything on my to do list, now I just focusing on the things that really last, my relationship with God and ensuring that the ones I love also gain that love for God.
Materialism was also a driving force in my life. I thought if I bought a house, had a nice fancy car and a good career that it would bring me contentment and happiness. But they haven't. What's brought me happiness and joy is knowing my purpose. Don't get me wrong, I like driving my big truck. But if it was stolen tomorrow, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. It's fully covered and can be replaced. What can't be replaced is the security of knowing my purpose and that my life matters and has meaning. What an awesome feeling to have that security.
Wow, there was a lot in chapter 3. I don't even know where to start. Like Al, part of my life has been driven by the acceptance of others, mostly my mother and my family. Sometimes I felt like no matter what I had accomplished, it was never good enough. There was always something else I could do or somewhere I could improve. Everything I did was to make my mother proud of me. I almost stayed in the Navy because she didn't approve of me gettin out. I finally learned that I can't always please her. I explained to her how much of a negative influence the Navy is in my life. She gave in and accepted the fact that I needed to get out. When she came on the ship and went out to sea with us for 3 days, she finally saw first hand what I went through and was happy I was getting out.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that really stuck out to me in this chapter was when it says: "If you have felt hopeless, hold on! Wonderful changes are going to happen in your life as you begin to live it on purpose." There was a time when I felt like Job 7:6 & 16 "My life drags by--day after hopeless day" and "I give up; I am tired of living. Leave me alone. My life makes no sense." was my life story. I felt so hopeless and everyone around me felt the same way. I held on and guess what, wonderful changes happened just as God had planned for me. It's like I had to go through all of that pain so that I could appreciate God and His unending love. I took everything He had done for me for granted. I've never felt more alive than when I am living my life for Him. After I started my journey with God, nothing else really mattered to me. All the materialistic things that I loved seemed like nothing. It's so awesome to know that no matter what it is you are going through, He is always there with you. No matter how many times we stray away from Him, He is always there to welcome us back with open arms.
Be encouraged Jean. I'm glad that you're on this journey to finding God's purpose for your life.
ReplyDeleteI guess "approval" was also my driving force. As I read this chapter, I thought back of my childhood. I am not sure if this is true of all Samoans but my childhood was pressure-filled. I remember feeling so burdened by other's expectations and the need to please all but me. I lived in fear of failure - failure to meet expectations or proving the negative ones right. It may not have been the case but I felt like people were waiting for me to make the wrong move or make their expected mistakes. For that, I did avoid taking risks. "Playing it safe" became my motto.
ReplyDeleteAs I think back, gosh I think I threw away my childhood worrying over what others would say. Those supposedly funfilled childhood memories are very limited. I had too much to do besides playing igave'a, pagi, etc, lol.
I continued to live my life that way in my young adult years. I set goals - very realistic ones. Unfortunately, I think I might've denied myself some challenges. I followed my plans and achieved my goals - with very little deviation. Yeah, no room for fun. I kept telling myself, "I have to finish this. What would people say if I don't? What would they say if I fail?" But here's the thing, I succeeded, yet people still talked!
Reminds me of that story Tama told of the old man, his son and their donkey. In case you haven't heard the story: The man rode the donkey as his young son walked along. People saw and said, "Oka oka e. How can that man be riding the donkey while his poor son walks?" The old man overheard them and decided to switch places with his young son. People saw them as said, "Kaigoigo i le la kama. How can he be riding the donkey while his father walks?" The old man did not like that so he decided it was best for him and his son to both ride the donkey. As they rode by, people reacted and said, "Oka se le alofa. That poor donkey is going to die from carrying those two." The old man didn't like that so he told his son they needed to carry the donkey. As they make their down along town carrying the donkey over their heads, the people laughed at them said, "Ia gale va'ai i le valea. The donkey is made for riding and now the donkey is riding them." With that the old man got very mad and threw the donkey into the stream.
Yes, we cannot please everyone! They talk when we don't, they talk when we do. That is most definitely not a way to live a life. We'd be so tired chasing and trying.
A few years ago, when I decided to renew my relationship with the Lord, I tried to change how I live my life. I have changed and I have become less stressed. I have stopped wondering and worrying over what people think. Their opinions do not matter - God's purposes and plans for me do.
Things haven't been perfect for me though. I now know what I need but I don't hold on to that all the time. I backslide and whenever I do, I immediately know why - I need to let go and let God. I cannot take care of everything and everyone alone. But that's how I feel a lot of time.
O how much easier life is when we leave it to God and let His purpose be the driving force behind what we do. I have began to ask that of things - what is God's purpose for this? What part of my purpose in God's plan can I do in this situation?
I have been battling some storms the last couple of months and they have taken their toll. That has forced me to reevaluate my relationship with God. I have been slacking. I have just been overcome with the hustle and bustle of everyday life that I had forgotten to ask of his purposes and plans.
I honestly can tell you that I am not sure what God's purpose is for me but I know I can rest assured that if I believe He has a spefic purpose for me, He will eventually reveal that to me. But for the time being, if I put my trust in Him, life would be more peaceful.
I can go on but I feel like I am going off topic here. I really enjoy the sharing.
God bless y'all.
I think majority of us can say, at one time or another, we've been driven by each of the five common things that were mentioned in this chapter. Being younger I remember my parents motivating me to do better than the other kids in class. I always wanted to make them proud, and not disappoint them. I know my parents knew right from wrong, and just wanted what was best for me. I can say, my parents play a big role in my decisions to this day. But as I've matured in my journey, I think the way i've been taught and raised, has its purpose. It's purpose was to prepare me for the future. At times, when I yearned for approval from my parents and didn't receive it, I thought I was a failure.But now that I look back at the situation, I can say its helped me mature in my spiritual walk. Our ultimate goal is eternal life. When we catch ourselves being driven by things other than God, let us remember this chapter and what should be the driving force in our lives. ..."You, LORD, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put thier trust in you."Isaiah 26:3...
ReplyDeleteWe talked about this very thing at our "live" Bible Study tonight. One of the members shared that she too was driven by acceptance by her parents. She felt like she was a bad daughter if she didn't do what her parents wanted her to do, take the path that they wanted her to take. We shared that it was a big problem in our Samoan community because of the whole respect factor. Where do we draw the line. The only thing I told her was that in the end, we all stand before God by ourselves. Our moms won't be there. Our dads won't be there. Neither will our pastors or our spouses. She asked me if it was ok then to do what she felt was right as opposed to what her parents wanted. I told her there's a time in our lives when we have to cross that threshold. We must always honor our parents, love our parents and take care of them. But in the end, we all have to be accountable to God on our own.
ReplyDeleteI ended by telling her please dont run home and tell them Al said it's ok for me not to listen to you. So I'll tell our group the same thing. If I get calls from parents, I will print this disclaimer up and show them. LOL
I would like my family and friends to say the driving force of my life is to know what Jesus did for me and learn to love and trust Him. I used to seek approval from friends and family in the things that I did. I also tried to accomodate people to keep the peace. When I first started singing in front of our church, I was a nervous wreck. I'm thinking to myself, that people are thinking who do you think you are? Who told you to go and sing in front of us? Thses are some of the thoughts that went through my head. My fear of sounding awful in front of people. Fear of people not liking the song that I am singing.
ReplyDeleteAs I continued to sing, I said to God, you know what's in my heart. I love to sing your praises, it is the one thing that I know brings me closer to you. Finally, I realize when the spirit moves you to sing--you will sing. And God will know if its really for Him, He will make it happen. One my fellow worshippers, I will call her palagi, she said, you love to sing for God and when you sing, I feel it comes from your heart. I told her thank you because my focus is when I choose a song to sing, I pray to God to let the people feel the spirit move among them.
To God be the glory Aeto!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree with what everyone else posted before me.
ReplyDeleteThe motivating force for much of my life has been FEAR. I feared wasting the sacrifices of my ancestors and especially my parents. I can't imagine moving to a foreign land - away from everything and everyone I've ever known - in search of a better future for my children. Yet it's the sacrifice that my parents and many others of their generation did willingly or us.
I thought about letting my parents down in my schooling, in my career, and in even more personal choices. How could I tell my dad that I couldn't finish school when I remembered him waking up at 4 am to go to PT in the winter? Or my mother as she burned the midnight oil looking for ways to make ends meet?
As I've grown, I realized that the only sacrifice I should FEAR wasting is the one that Jesus made on the cross. We shall all stand before our maker and be judged for what we did or did not do with the atoning blood that was shed on the cross.
Be blessed and BE a blessing.
x0xo
I would have to say that the driving force for the majority of my life would have to be resentment and anger. I was one of those type of people that could hold a grudge.So I held on to my resentment and anger with my mom for almost 10 years. I know, I know that is a long time but in the end i ended up forgiving her. But it took this book to help me forgive.Like the book had said "Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent."After reading that i sat there and thought to myself, my mom is moving on with her life, i might as well too. I didnt want to feel the pain anymore so i just let go. I felt free and it helped me to get closer to God.
ReplyDeleteNua: This chapter covers alot although it is only 8 pages. Up until HS, I was mostly driven by fear. College and on, the other four listed became evident in my life. The fear of failure and fear of not being able to measure up. I was very competitive in everything whether it was academic or sports. As I got older, the drive was to please people..the wrong people. Pleasing and impressing people became the norm. Spending unwisely to look better just to feel better is insanity. As the years go by, I learned that it is not the clothes or the make-up or jewelry or whatever that makes you, it is who you are inside that matters more. What's in your heart..starting with want you think you are. Flash back to chapter 2. You are unique, I am unique, made with a purpose.
ReplyDeleteMy family will probably say that the driving force for my life is pleasing people, especially my family, church and friends. I believe that my driving force is my desire to do God's will in all that I do, day in and day out. That is my desire...it is a journey.
A few lines from the chapter I would like to highlight:
"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. God's purpose is not limited by your past." Love this!
"Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be....move against it with the weapons of faith and love."
"Self-worth and net worth are not the same"
"Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken from you - your relationship with God."
"Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it."
"..one key to failure is to try and please everyone..controlled by the opinions of others..guaranteed way to miss God's purpose for your life." Been there, got the Tshirt.
"..forces that drive your life..all lead to the same dead end: unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life."
"Without purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason." Well put.
"The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose."
"People who don't know thier purpose try to do too much - and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict." When I miss it from time to time, yes this reminds me that Im way off track.
"You have just enough time to do God's will"
"Without a clear purpose, you will keep changing directions, jobs, relationships, churches, or other externals..a lack of focus and purpose" Recall the magnifying glass and laser beam and of course the Apostle Paul..forgetting all that is behind him and pressing forward with the goal to win the prize..his heavenly prize.
"Stop trying to do it all. Do less. Prune away even the good activities, and do only that which matters most. Never confuse activity with productivity." Im guilty of this and yes sometimes, I have to skip some wednesdays and some sundays and some other church function. There has to be a balance and order. Our God is a God of order. My order: God, Family, work, church, etc.
"Purpose always produces passion..passion dissipates when you lack a purpose" I like the example he uses about getting up for work..I remember my last years in the military..getting out of bed was a chore, until I decided it is where Im supposed to be and there is a purpose for me to be there...it was like night and day. Not only did I get up without much trouble but the people around me were mild mannered and even the assignments I had from that point on were pleasant..it was the favor of God..to Him be all the GLORY! Now that Im back to work after several years, God's favor is still with me. Praise God!
"You were put here to prepare for eternity. One day..God will do an audit of your life..before you enter eternity. God won't ask about your religious background or doctrinal views. The only thing that will matter is, did you accept what Jesus did for you and did you learn to love and trust him?" I have and still growing in His love..hope you will also. Be blessed.
I feel spiritually fed this morning from everyone here. Praise Him.
ReplyDeleteMessenger, I hear exactly what you're saying. My dad was a chaplain in the army and I remember him taking the Air Assault course to improve his career. For us to have a better future. Every day he's come back with blisters all over his feet and he'd be so worn out physically. But the next morning, he'd get up at the crack of dawn, and drag himself out there so that we can have choices he and my mom didnt have. That fear also drove, perhaps still does, of not wanting their sacrifice to go to waste.
Sister Nua, I can relate to your testimony. I used to not enjoy my work. I'd drag myself out there but there was no joy. I'd complain about the kids, the other teachers about if I only changed schools, everything would be better. But my dad told me its not about those other factors. Its about me. The change has to come from me. If I changed schools, I'd find out that the same type of kids are there too. Same type of co workers. He said he used to councel soldiers about the same thing. Even if they changed units, it would be the same thing. Not until we change our attitudes and mindset, can we change our lives.
Reading this chapter confirmed a lot of things I'd learnd over the years and made everything clear. God gave us the power to focus our lives on what truly matters. Things that seemed so big in the past, aren't as big when compared to eternity. And guess what? My kids are better, my co workers are better. They didnt change though. But I did.
Keep the fire burning y'all.
WOW...such great insight into the chapter. I agree with all of you and can relate to most of what everyone has said. Thanks AL for doing this and trusting in God that it was going to work. This has been a blessing to know that what I have been feeling and things I have gone through...I have not done so on my own; others have gone through the same things and felt the same things. I think the last part of what you said AL about we have to change our mindset and attitude actually applies to me right now at work.
ReplyDeleteI know that I won't always post but will try..Looking forward to future comments...
wow... i can relate to what everyone has shared. what drives my life the most is pleasing my parents, loved ones, relatives and friends. i made sure that their wants and needs are satisfied before mine. i can also relate to the other driving forces that the author was pointing out. it's just overwhelming and you lose focus of what you were suppose to do. so, I'm so happy that everyone has shared their stories because I thought to myself that maybe I'm the only one that's going through this. Thanks for sharing. I would like to close by saying that yes, you have to change yourself in order for you to have purpose driven life for God.
ReplyDelete