A long walk

When I was in high school I had an aunt that had a long battle with cancer. She came to live with us in Hawaii, so I saw firsthand the devastation the disease was having on her body. She was one of the strongest persons of faith that I have known in my life. She ranks right along side of my grandmother, mother and aunts as far as faithful women that I have known. My faith system was shaken. Here was a strong believer in Christ, yet she was suffering so much. It made no sense to me.

Our family offered up countless prayers for God to heal her. We would have morning prayers, evening prayers. We would take turns sleeping with her at the hospital. Our church would visit her every Sunday and have more prayers. Even after her doctor told us she was terminal the prayers didn't stop. In fact, they had only intensified. It was as if her belief in God's healing touch and the power of our prayers was going to heal her cancer. But at the same time, she was diminishing rapidly before our eyes. My dad had told her perhaps it's time to tidy up her affairs, to speak to her children and to her siblings about any of her final wishes. This enraged her. She said basically that how can a man of God have so little faith as to tell her to prepare to die. Her faith was that strong.

She returned to Samoa to be with her family. The doctors had told her that wasn't anything more they could do. A few months later, she died. To me, it was as if God had ignored our prayers. This was a watershed moment in my relationship with God. How can a loving God allow such an unloving things to happen to an angel of His? How can he ignore the prayers of His children? It was all so unfair. Here she was, on fire for Him and His kingdom, and yet she dies. She was a nutritionist, who lived healthily and yet smokers and drinkers were living into their 80s. It took a long time for me to reconcile with the Lord. But thankfully, He was waiting when I finally made my way back.

I've matured in my walk with the Lord, I've come to realize that prayer is not a way to get God to do whatever we want. Rather, prayer is an expression of our faith and trust in His power, wisdom and grace. I don't necessarily believe in the power of prayer, but I do believe in the power of God. And therefore, I pray. But I always end my prayers with the way Jesus ended His prayers...but Thy will be done. Be blessed.