Caps and gowns

Today is the day I became a father. I know I was a father the day Perise entered our lives. Technically. But in reality, I was no more a father on that day than any other day previous. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea what type of dad I was going to be or how we were going to raise her. All those questions would be asked and answered and re-asked and re-answered later. It's an ongoing process, shall we say. But today was a special day because my little girl graduated from pre-school. And before you ask, yes, there is such a thing as a pre-school graduation. I had no idea myself until Tuesday. That's the day we got our "invitation" from the day-care about their graduation.

Tile was instantly excited. She immediately made plans to take the day off. She said she wanted to make ulas and perhaps get 'Rise a new outfit for the day. In my mind cash registers were ringing and cheap old me said to myself, "hey, it's just pre-school." Off course I never uttered those words aloud. But as the day got closer, I could see the excitement in my daughter's eyes. She would ask everyone in the family if they were coming. Everyone answered in the affirmative. Except for me. I had an important review for my kids before they take their final unit exam on Friday. This was important and I couldn't miss it. And besides, this was just pre-school. On the morning of her graduation, as we sat in the drive through line waiting for her kolache, she looked at me and said, "daddy, why aren't you coming to my graduation?" At that moment, I don't know how to explain it, but I didn't know what to say. I mumbled something about daddy hving some important things to do at work but mommy would be there and she would take pictures to show daddy so it would be just like daddy was there. I asked if that was ok. She nodded her head and looked out the window. Not a good sign. We drove to her school without uttering another word. When I kissed her good bye I said, "I'll see you tonight at your party." She smiled and said, "mommy will take pictures."

Those words jarred me. As I drove to work I kept saying to myself...it's only pre-school. Next year she will have a kindergarten graduation. And then there's elementary, high school, college, law school. OK, my mom would say "va'ai ga la mamao lau kogi." But then a thought occurred to me. What if there is no next time? What if there is no next year? Tile had a student whose two year old sister died last week. I've had one niece and one nephew die before they could "graduate." I realized what I had to do. I got some friends to fill in for me and made my way back to my daughter's graduation. Today, my daughter would come first. Today, everything else would come in a distant second. I realized that there are no guarantees in life. Life is a precious gift from God that He grants and takes according to His plans. I realized that there would always be reviews, there would always be important meetings, there would always be church functions, there would always be fa'alavelaves, but on this important day my daughter would come first.

As I stood there in the hallway and listened to her recite her poem, my heart was filled with joy. Today is the day I joined thousands of fathers who stood beaming behind their children as they attained a milestone in their lives. And yes I know, it's just pre-school. But I thank God I was there because today is the day...I became a father.