Letting go

I spoke with someone recently who was having trouble forgiving someone from her past. She was still holding on to anger and bitterness towards that person. Her trouble was that she knew that as a Christian she is commanded to "forgive those who have transgressed against her." But it was just too hard. She felt that if she forgave, she was letting her tormentor get away with their actions all over again.

I reminded her of Paul's words to the Ephesians to 'be kind to one another, forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you.' Paul told the Ephesians that it was essential for their Christian walk to be able to forgive each other. After all, Christ died to forgive all of us.

Forgiveness isn't forgetting, excusing or smoothing over the past. When you forgive someone, it doesn't mean you have to forget the past. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends with that person. Instead, forgiveness breaks the cycle of anger and bitterness.
It is love's toughest work and love's biggest risk. Forgiveness isn't about the person being forgiven. Forgiveness is about the person that was wronged. You aren't letting them off the hook. They will have to answer to God for their actions. To forgive is to set a prisoner free. And that prisoner is you.